For some time now Roch has been trying to reach a decision about work. Fatigue is becoming more of an issue and he feels he is less efficient now - simply reaching for a file, holding a file - the things we do hundreds of times in work without thinking - are becoming impossible for him. There may be answers to the practical problems in the short term and no doubt some of these are coming to your mind as you read this. But the bottom line is that he is losing an important part of his identity. Roch was in complete control of his job - intellectually he is still in control but his body is failing him. It is too tiring, soon he will not be able to get through all the work - already he feels diminished and the thought of having to relinquish this part of his life, this huge part of who he is, is deeply sorrowful for him. There are short term solutions, as I say, and we talked about this last night - but essentially his working life is beginning to draw to a close and there is nothing good about this. It is not fair to be robbed of this so early.
Here is a man who reached an excellence and expertise in his position many would envy, who earned the healthy respect of his professional opponents and inspired the admiration and affection of his co-workers over more than twenty years. Roch there are no words of comfort as you see your professional life slipping away from you - but you will always have that respect and you will always have the admiration and affection of your co-workers and the gratitude of the multitudinous 'punters' you have dealt with over the years (ok some of them won't be so grateful, but you know what I mean). Few can boast such a successful career.
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I completely understand this, like Roch, work was an enormous part of what I did and represented the majority of my achievements. I actually got my diagnosis the same week that I was going to accept an exciting Director position at another IT company in the city. I tried to look at it as early retirement and an opportunity to do things I wouldn't have otherwise had done. BUT I do appreciate that I had no financial pressure so I could "retire" while I wasn't too disabled and had a year being able to travel independently. Its often difficult but you have to find a positive spin wherever possible and not dwell on the loss. Some days it just isn't possible though. I hope that Roch can adjust to the changes in the work situation or modify his role to minimise physical effort. I am sure he has considered all the options.
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