Dated Thursday 10th February:
Well, here I am, safely boarded on my flight to Dublin. Paudie, one of Roch's brothers, proposed a visit to spend time with Roch and it was Roch's idea that I take the opportunity to see my mother. I haven't seen her since September, when I went to Ireland for her sister's funeral. Paudie's flight came in early this morning and Roch drove me to Heathrow thus killing two birds etc..I checked in and went straight to Arrivals to find Paudie waiting. Roch joined us, pushing the rollator, having parked the car on his own. I wondered how it was for Paudie, seeing Roch with the rollator - and for Roch as he made his way slowly across the Terminal concourse. Just as he reached us, he tripped, but managed to land in a seat nearby. For one millisecond perhaps I saw the changes as Paudie saw them. I stood up awkwardly and moved over to Roch, then sat down helplessly beside him, thereby drawing attention to the stumble but being no actual help at all!
He can manage - just, but I know I am no longer happy to leave him alone - even leaving him with Tom doesn't feel right to me. This makes Roch sad. But I am grateful to Paudie and I'm sure the three lads will enjoy their time together.
One or two people have suggested that I keep a seperate, private blog and it's true that I hold back sometimes, censor, edit - even, at times, refrain from blogging at all if what I am feeling or if what is on my mind might be too private to share here. I am aware that Roch reads the blog and so does Kate. Kate was one of those who suggested that I keep a private diary. There are aspects to our new life together which I would like to record somewhere and which, at some later date, I will share. Our experiences and the way we deal with them may prove helpful to others. And so I begin...