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Sunday, 28 June 2015

Dorset Diary or How a Fall Broke the Spell

Back from Dorset

I can’t believe we are back from Dorset already. It doesn’t seem like a week has passed. Ellwood Cottages did not disappoint and it’s hard to describe what a calm and relaxing place it is. The kids forgot to bring raincoats but the weather was so good that they didn’t need them. It was all going so well…let me share some diary entries with you:

June 20th

So here we are again at Ellwood Cottages. Arrived safely in beautiful hot sunny weather. Bit of a   delay getting down as queuing traffic at Stonehenge. Listening at this moment to an absolute explosion of birdsong.  John and Anne as lovely and helpful as last time, the cottage is absolutely spotless – such a pleasure. Crisp, clean white cotton sheets and fresh towels. The hoist, although a standing hoist, is not exactly like our own. Perhaps we haven’t quite got the sling right? Seemed better going to bed so looks like we have it right. So far haven’t forgotten anything vital. All ventilator parts present and correct. Lovely first evening sitting out in the little rose garden watching the birds with Roch –swallows, sparrows, finches, crows and jackdaws  – as the horses grazed beyond the fence against a background of rolling green hills. The perfect setting for Roch’s beer and cigars!

June 21st

Longest day of the year. Yesterday was overcast but muggy and warm. We made the much anticipated return visit to the Udder Farm Shop – such a success last trip and no different this time round. Delicious food in the restaurant served by lovely people and then shopped for fresh organic local produce. Kids frolicked in the playground for a while. Getting used to driving on the little twisty roads again. Felt very tired in the evening so had a rest and then played Cluedo with the kids. Did R feel excluded? Hard to know – he said he was okay reading. Kate even came up with a plan for him to play using his I-pad as he can’t hold the cards but he gave it a miss. A couple of episodes of ‘Orange is the New Black’ – something of a Dorset tradition for us.  Still getting used to the hoist but no mishaps and all settling down here. Can’t get him out of bed by myself and he can’t turn in bed by himself. Last night he asked me to turn him at 2:45am and I had to get Tom to help. Luckily those two had only just gone to bed and were still awake.

4:30pm Father’s Day today. 
Father's Day 2015

Cards and Game of Thrones tee-shirt from the kids.
Loving the rose garden.
Noticed nesting boxes today – one has a sparrow family inside. There is one rose which smells of lemon. Exquisite. 
A most delicate lemony scent

 Swim today with Kate. 30 minutes in the pool, practising our strokes. Really loving the exercise. She looks like a mermaid in the water –all that lovely long red hair. What a beauty our girl is.
This is such a restful place.  Note: Roch does seem more frail. Only when he is ensconced in the recliner or in his wheelchair does he seem confident and relaxed.  Sitting on the bed this morning he fell sideways. He was still in the sling but when I detached the sling to move the hoist, to put on his tee shirt (The House that Jack built) he keeled over and I had to call Tom to help me set him upright again.
I am developing a great love of birds and must clean out our bird feeders and buy a birdbath when we get home.

June 25th

Well, it’s happened. I guess we’ve been pretty lucky that we haven’t had to call for an ambulance before now. Last night we did. He fell and we followed the accepted professional advice and called emergency services. Unfortunately it happened at about 12:45am which somehow made it that much scarier. He had been, as I thought, secure in the hoist. I was steering it into the bedroom, a journey of a few short steps from the recliner. He was in the doorway when his knees gave way and before my horror-struck gaze, he slipped out of the sling and fell backwards onto the floor, his head hitting the (thankfully carpeted) floor with a thud. The kids came running from different directions. He lay still for a time to recover and assess any damage as their poor shocked faces looked on. Options were discussed. There was no bleeding and he hadn’t broken anything. He didn’t want an ambulance called and we were all reluctant to disturb John and Anne. Eventually we compromised. 

We had to call for an ambulance because we would never have been able to get him up ourselves, and we had to make sure there was no injury we couldn’t see; but after a while, at his request we moved him to a sitting position, leaning up against one of the seating cushions from the sofa. Tom sat beside him on the floor, alert to keep him from slipping sideways. Kate and I prepared to venture into the darkness in an attempt to find a phone signal. 

We made for the very back of the garden. I could feel the coolness of the damp grass through my sandals as we moved through the pitch black, the only light coming from the little emergency lantern I carried. Kate called John and Anne to let them know what was happening and I called 999. My heart sank as my calls failed a number of times but eventually my call was answered. Back to the cottage and on the way I saw that there were lights on at the main house. I felt bad that we had disturbed them. Sure enough, they emerged into the courtyard and I hurried over to explain. As we talked, the sound of laughter carried across from the open window of the cottage. Tom was distracting Roch with Youtube videos.

Kate and I had opened the gate to the courtyard and she was waiting there with the lantern. John, Anne and I joined her there to keep an eye out for the ambulance.  It was a balmy night and quite dry. We waited for 30-40 minutes under a starry sky and eventually we saw the lights of the ambulance.  John and Anne went back to the house and we brought the ambulance crew to the cottage. Liz and Jessica had come from Dorchester and they managed to get Roch sitting on the side of the bed, using the hoist. Liz explained that they couldn’t put Roch in the sling and that we would have to do that in case he fell again, as if he did, it would technically be their fault. So Tom put the sling on him. Liz examined him while the children looked on and I answered Jessica’s questions as she filled in some paperwork. Roch’s head and backside were sore and he was shaken but otherwise okay. They stayed while we settled Roch to bed. Kate was dead on her feet as she’d been up that morning at 6am so she went off to bed too, but Tom wasn’t ready for sleep so we stayed up watching RuPaul's Drag Race – don’t even ask! We 'Sashayed Away' at 3.3am but I don’t think I got to sleep before 4 and woke at 8. I think we are all a bit fragile today.

It had been such a lovely day, too; a swim in the morning for me and the usual coffee and cigars for Roch, sitting in the sunshine. After lunch we drove to Sherborne, a very pretty town, and went to see Sherborne New Castle, once the home of Sir Walter Raleigh. The guides were anxious to make sure we all got the most we could out of the visit. We had arrived late but they gave us a whistle stop tour. We saw the pipe Sir Walter reputedly smoked on the scaffold and Tom and I had a quick gallop round the shop, while Roch was treated to a slide show (access only on the ground floor so the slide show brings the disabled visitor through a tour of the upper rooms). Then we trotted round part of the grounds and garden (designed by Capability Brown) and back into Sherborne for a pint for Roch. 

Yes, it was all going so well before the Fall.  We are restricting transfers to short distances only – no wheeling him around in the hoist. Two people on the job and on high alert during transfers. Glancing through my diary entries, I think I am guilty of complacency. His condition has seemed relatively stable for so long and we have had no disasters. I was clearly uneasy about the hoist from Day One but I managed to convince myself that it would be ok.
Roch, as always, takes a philosophical view. It could have been worse, he says. He wasn’t hurt and we all worked together as a team. That man can see the positives in anything. That’s why I need him.

Home now and facing a week of appointments. He had trouble turning last night but thankfully no problems with the hoist here. We are being extra vigilant. I have emailed the OT as I think we may have to think again about transfers. His legs are weaker – the right leg may be giving up. 

It’s hard on the kids.

Will we go back to Ellwood Cottages? We hope so. 

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