Friday, 28 January 2011
Grief is not far below the surface. I feel it rising sometimes. Missing People are developing a new website and some members of the Supporters and Communications Team gave a presentation at our (Services) Team meeting this week. One new initiative is the idea of the 'In Tribute' page. Families often want to make a donation in memory of their missing loved one and when the new website is active, they will be able to do this and post their dedication. There will also be a page where they can 'light a candle' in memory. If anyone had asked me to voice an opinion, I would not have been able to speak. Tears sprang to my eyes and I had to do the old eye widening, rapid blinking trick (good thing all eyes were on the woman doing her presentation!) combined with digging my nails into the palms of my hands for a time. Wouldn't recommend it, but it worked. Obviously the subject matter was emotive but it certainly sent a piercing reminder through me which took me by surprise. One day the monkey will no longer be on his back. The day will come when the fight will be over. Then it will be about tributes and candles for us. Someone once said to me that he thought perhaps I was in denial. I think it was because he saw me coping day to day and apparently unaffected. Believe me, I'm not in denial but I've got to get on with our lives. There will be a time and a place but it's not yet. Lots of living to do yet.