#The first time ever I saw your face

 Notes from travel diary

8 August, Wednesday

Well, I did it, I got them all from Rydal Gardens to Dublin, with the help of three sumatriptan  and a good deal of prayer. I drove all the way for the first time ever and managed it beautifully with the support of my two lovely children and Roch’s navigational expertise.  (There was one hairy moment outside Wrexham when my hay fever eyes began to water so much I had to pull in for eye drop treatment), but was soon recovered enough to drive on to the Premier Inn where we spent the night before completing our journey.

I am writing these notes from the guest bedroom in my brother’s house in Dublin, where I take a moment to breathe a prayer of thanks and close my eyes, settling into the fresh, crisp sheets with relief.  Dermot and Maura have done an excellent job raising the bed for Roch and he is settled comfortably downstairs with an extra mattress on the sofa bed. He can get in and out of bed by himself. If he needs me he will text. Last year we had no need for an extra mattress – but we knew there had been changes.  There would have been no getting him into Mammy’s house without the ramp – so many thanks to Tracy at the Irish MND Association. A ramp was waiting for us there on arrival. The gradient was a bit steep but we managed. Perfect for the step at Dermot’s house. It’s pretty heavy but it does the job. Hopefully all will be well in Kerry. I know he’s anxious about being out of his comfort zone. It’s hard for him. Thank God we brought the toilet raiser seat, as well as the toilet frame. What a piece of kit. The moment I fixed it to the toilet seat at the Premier Inn in Wrexham I breathed a sigh of relief. It would be okay, and that certainly dealt with one of Roch’s major anxieties. It will be an essential piece of equipment, wherever we go on this trip. It is so much harder for him to stand from a sitting position now. I wonder how far we are from hoist time?

I relax and put in my earphones.  Alison Moyet. At once a rush of memories threatens to overwhelm me. Dublin is the place of the young Roch, always on the move, sexy as hell, the Roch of the wink that made me go weak at the knees, he of the tinted glasses and the soft leather jacket – pulled into his strong young arms, held against his lean body sharing stolen kisses all those years ago. Oh the dizziness of that first kiss.

“The first time ever I saw your face…I thought the sun rose in your eyes… and the moon and the stars… were the gift you gave, to a dark… and empty sky.”